but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
