Don't you send me to vm
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
