did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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