It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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