why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
