So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Randomize
