I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
