hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
