Will you blow on my dice?
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
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