Rock
Scissors
Fuck
If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
