I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Randomize
