I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
