you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
