I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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