508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
Acid is not a monday night drug
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
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