my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
The adults are the big ones right?
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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