YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Pappa wants mamma naked
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
there is puke in my bra ... again
Randomize
