ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
