if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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