Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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