he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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