I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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