He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Randomize
