Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
