It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
