im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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