you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
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