I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
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