We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
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