I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
Randomize
