rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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