I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Randomize
