You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Randomize
