he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
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