ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize
