just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
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