Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
