dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
