Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize
