I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
