You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
don't judge my taste in strippers
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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