I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
Randomize
