the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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