i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Of course I have a pirate flag
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
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