You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
