he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
