i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
