I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
