you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
