could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
i think i scared a bird with my dick
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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